Jesus-Facepalm

Summary of the Entire Bible

by

Thanks to an unknown Facebook-er and the Reddit-er that reposted this gem, I now share with you, the briefest synopsis of the entire Bible.

GENESIS

God: All right, you two, don’t do the one thing. Other than that, have fun.
Adam & Eve: Okay.
Satan: You should do the thing.
Adam & Eve: Okay.
God: What happened!?
Adam & Eve: We did the thing.
God: Guys…..

THE REST OF THE OLD TESTAMENT

God: You are my people, and you should not do the things.
People: We won’t do the things.
God: Good.
People: We did the things.
God: Guys…..

THE GOSPELS

Jesus: I am the Son of God, and even though you have done the things, the Father and I still love you and want you to live. Don’t do the things anymore.
Healed people: Okay! Thank you!
Other people: We’ve never seen him do the things, but he probably does the things when no one is looking.
Jesus: I have never done the things.
Other people: We’re going to put you on trial for doing the things.
Pilate: Did you do the things?
Jesus: No.
Pilate: He didn’t do the things.
Other people: Kill him anyway.
Pilate: Okay.
Jesus: Guys…..

PAUL’S LETTERS

People: We did the things.
Paul: Jesus still loves you, and because you love Him, you have to stop doing the things.
People: Okay.

PAUL’S LETTERS PART II

People: We did the things again.
Paul: Guys…..

REVELATION

John: When Jesus comes back, there will be no more people who do the things. In the meantime, stop doing the things.

20 thoughts on “Summary of the Entire Bible”

  1. I have taken note that of all varieties of insurance, medical insurance is the most marked by controversy because of the issue between the insurance plan company’s necessity to remain afloat and the buyer’s need to have insurance cover. Insurance companies’ profits on health plans are certainly low, therefore some firms struggle to make a profit. Thanks for the thoughts you discuss through this web site.

    Reply

  2. This article is a breath of fresh air! The author’s unique perspective and perceptive analysis have made this a truly fascinating read. I’m thankful for the effort he has put into creating such an informative and thought-provoking piece. Thank you, author, for sharing your wisdom and stimulating meaningful discussions through your exceptional writing!

    Reply

  3. It is in reality a great and helpful piece of info. I am happy that you simply shared this useful information with us. Please stay us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply

  4. Wow! This could be one particular of the most useful blogs We’ve ever arrive across on this subject. Basically Excellent. I am also a specialist in this topic so I can understand your effort.

    Reply

  5. We’re a gaggle of volunteers and starting a brand new scheme in our community. Your site offered us with helpful information to work on. You’ve done an impressive task and our entire community might be grateful to you.

    Reply

  6. Thank you for the good writeup. It in truth used to be a amusement account it. Glance complex to more introduced agreeable from you! However, how could we communicate?

    Reply

  7. I’ve observed that in the world the present moment, video games are classified as the latest rage with kids of all ages. There are times when it may be out of the question to drag your family away from the video games. If you want the very best of both worlds, there are plenty of educational games for kids. Interesting post.

    Reply

  8. I have been browsing online greater than three hours as of late, yet I by no means discovered any attention-grabbing article like yours. It is lovely price enough for me. Personally, if all web owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will probably be a lot more helpful than ever before.

    Reply

  9. Femmee nu amateur gratuitTeeen titawns showtimeFreee gloryhile porn clipsPeliculla erotica online3Freee lesbiaan ssex storysPlqyboy pictures holy kendra nudeAdult married datingNakd bages flashkng outdoorsFrree lesbian mlf’s withh
    girlsPenetration pkwer off radiationHorny pegnant girls nakedSexx ritua videoForbidden potn searchKity aasian analBottpm line auditing firmBookk jamnes
    poirn staar tanyaLesbian mminiskirt kissGayy people inn militaryTeeen modeeling in torontoHelping a youbg adult
    with depressionFacil threading machineFoord escortt mk6Family mattdrs
    stawr pornoGuied imagery scripts ffor teensAmtre poorn cqught oon tapeBredast augmentation through the areolaMarrjed women tell their sexual fantasiesNo brra voyeurJesssica allba intto tthe bblue bikinni videoAftr crramping sexInset pornAlison hayslip
    sexyHe shee trannysSterlkng stripp 3 16Vgas striop casinosPorntar daqting londonLare fim bfeast ideos freeVideo doggbystyle sexHayden panetiere upskirtMann touching
    wommans boobsFannibans fuckking mmule mp3Afferct
    drjg teenFreee wully sucksDurhham chber sexFreee best sexArmmy
    sexul assalt powerpointAnetta keey por starTeen tutans portn comixsCloseup vaginal penitrationFreee
    xxxx rated home maqde videoFrree granma hairy analProvidenjce adult daay careComic
    streips stretch girlNon consentual erotic storiesAs
    homosexual jesus lovibg wouldGrannny suckijng dick 2Misss nud aamerica 2008Water bottle caujseing breas cancerSeex slave bdm fofced orgasmReeal amnateur wifeFreelive modeks sexAmaature hott sex videosSexy annime
    maidsThumb ssex picsBreast cancsr jojrnal nursingBridhet bardott homosexualsDiick ducking pusy lickingFree nnon nude pixWiireless remite coontrolled
    sex toysCan nnot ejafulate uring sexHeentai vlipKim cattrail nudeFreaky triks too make him cumVoon serckendorff nudeTeeen arrt nudee galleriesNature 2 spaa
    test stripsFree gaay orn mobiile sitesAg anges free poen picturesMalle too female cum swapBiig
    mamna titsSingers barr annd grille bloomingtn ill ofvd9wuaptu1h0f5htn4

    Reply

  10. hello there and thank you for your information ? I have certainly picked up anything new from right here. I did however expertise some technical issues using this site, since I experienced to reload the site many times previous to I could get it to load properly. I had been wondering if your web hosting is OK? Not that I’m complaining, but slow loading instances times will very frequently affect your placement in google and can damage your quality score if ads and marketing with Adwords. Well I?m adding this RSS to my e-mail and could look out for much more of your respective interesting content. Make sure you update this again very soon..

    Reply

  11. Поделитесь, какие [url=https://uslugi-seo-prodvizheniya.ru]услуги seo продвижения[/url] дали максимальный результат в вашем случае?

    Reply

Leave a Comment