10 Worst Christian Bands and Artists of All Time


10. Raze

Raze is best known for their hit song “All Around The World”. I would first like to clarify that yes this song was actually popular in the late 90’s…..but then again, so was Barbie Girl. The late 90’s was a very special time for music. Raze is a genre all on their own, somehow melding NSYNC, Spice Girls, Aqua, and DC Talk into a single band. The song below is their one big hit.

 


This next song may not, em…, lift you up as much! Its not pretty folks.

9. Dogwood

This one pains me to write about because they were the very first Christian band I ever heard. In fact, when I got saved I actually did not know that Christian music existed. Never dawned on me in the slightest. I first heard a song called “Never Die,” which was a nice rock tune from their album titled “Building a Better Me.” This album is the ONLY album that is listen-able. If you cannot tell in this first song (Never Die) the lead singer is a big mono-toned. However, you will see in the second song that first first one was a large expansion on his normal vocal range.

 


This next song was actually considered a good Dogwood song. I think I may have to go repent now for ever buying this album.

8. The W’s

This is another band I have to admit to listening to. In my defense, their first album was amazing. So much so that I had to list them in the top Christian bands of the 90’s previously. But as much as I loved the “Fourth From The Last” album, their followup (Trouble With X) was so bad I did not even know it was released until years after it failed and was cast into the Christian music abyss, never to be heard by the main stream. If you want to listen to their good stuff click HERE, otherwise, enjoy the train wreck below. (NOTE: I don’t actually know if this is their worst song….the entire album is so bad that I don’t think a consensus will ever be made.)

7. White Heart

Where do I even begin with this group. Foremost, I am not sure who the target audience is. Is this a genre? If so, what is it called? Someone help a brother out.

6. Leaderdogs (for the Blind)

The first time I got ahold of a Leaderdogs CD I thought the name was awful. Either way, if its just a bad name I can overlook that. Christian music listeners don’t exactly have a high bar to begin with. The real problem is when the music starts. The only thing worse than the 80’s Christian rock bands is obviously some of the 90’s bands. I actually had a hard time finding their music online. I will upload the CD soon that I have (ashamed to admit) for the world to hear.


Like other bands they did not go hitless. They released one song called Lemonade which was also the name of the album and it was able to get some radio play.

 

 

5. Austin Wallace (White Out)

This is a more recent artist but fear not, the product is still terrible. Not only that but he’s trying to act tough while rapping in what appear to be a wealthy white suburb neighborhood. Perhaps with some time and refining he can be a star. Many bands that are popular today started off sounding absolutely terrible Thousand Foot Krutch was painful to listen to. Skillet made my ears bleed. Disciple was unbearable. But not to be outdone here is White Out performing Hardcore Bible Thumping Spirit Filled Jesus Freak….. or HBTSPJF.

 

4. Carman

Don’t be fooled young people, Carmen was a big deal. Carman was the Billy Graham of Christian artists. However, some sins are not realized until far after the fact. To be fair though, some of his songs are quite comical, such as the first exhibit: “Spirit Filled Pizza.” His early stuff was quite funny. I personally like The Temptation Boogie.

 Now, fast forward about 20 years and the results are not pretty. In classic Carmen style each video has a very long intro before the music.

 

3. Sonseed

Sonseed was a Catholic music band from Brooklyn and started out at Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Help. If you’ve heard of Sonseed before, you probably already know why they are #3 on this list. For everyone else who was either unsaved, sleeping, or not yet born in the late 70’s, here is what they are best known for, “Jesus is My Friend.”

 

 

2. Lust Control

I am aware that some may not be aware of this band but those who survived the 80’s Christian music scene will be able to inform you. Slightly reminiscent of Calibretto 13, Lust Control has an in-your-face punk rock sound. However, it is likely the lyrics and poor singing that was their demise. It may have been slightly difficult walking around the block with your boombox on your shoulder while Lust Control is shouting “masterbation, it’s artificial sex!”

1. G Man

For the finale I bring to you something both modern and tragic. First, this is not a one hit wonder. The youtube channel for G Man is active and has many raps n beats on it. He even has a video called “Creationist Cat Beatdown Rap,” in which he sings about sleeping with someone’s mother. I’m not sure how that fits his Christian persona just yet but I believe he takes questions on youtube. Nothing more really needs to be said. Enjoy the train wreck.

 

 

10 thoughts on “10 Worst Christian Bands and Artists of All Time”

    • Sorry to hear that. I personally find the off-key falsetto to be detrimental to the otherwise likable acoustic/violin sound of that song….. And the rest of the album.

      Reply
  1. o stopped reading this when I saw White Heart on here. I admit I wasnt crazy about their last album Redemption but Freedom, Tales of Wonder, Powerhouse and Highlands are amazing. Honestly i would say they are my favorite band. Rick Florian is amazing he has a wide vocal range and I would put them as your 80's rock genre including the power ballads.
    I'm interested in the type of bands you approve of?

    Reply

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