5 Must Know Worship Positions

I have always been fascinated by people different body movements during worship; primarily because I really an not much of a mover. Here are 5 of my favorites.

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1. The sweeper

We have all seen this one in church. The sweep is subtle, moves with rhythm, and does not distract as much as others. This person has their hands down at their sides and are just sweeping back and forth. In fact, if I could talk them into coming to my house I could turn some worship music on and have my whole place dusted and swept in under and hour.

Who can become a sweeper?
Usually sweepers tend to be females, but I’ve seen a few men doing it? (Insert unnecessary female sweeping kitchen joke here).

Pros:

• Unobtrusive.
• Could raise productivity in the church if appropriate actions are taken to worship with cleaning tools.
• Possibly a thinner waist line.

Cons:

• You look silly.
• At some point you will whack someone in the junk swinging your hands back and forth….not pretty, but its going to   happen.

 

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2. Titanic Re-enactors

If you have seen the Titanic movie with Leonardo DiCaprio then you know what I mean. This Worship style requires a person to stand straight and erect while having their arms out at a directly perpendicular angle. They are either trying to fly away or preparing to be crucified; perhaps both Biblical. The Titanic Reenactor is not satisfied with just worshiping, they have to create a wind sail with their body for catching the Holy Spirit emanating from the worship team.

Who can be a Titanic Re-enactor?
Anyone! This is a user friendly position in which anyone can look much more holy then they did before they walked into church.

Pros:

• You look awesome and very holy.
• You get a good upper arm workout and its good for the lats and tris.

Cons:

• You will hit someone in the face.
• No one is going to sit by you in church.

 

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3. Top Shelfer

The top Shelfer is the person is continually has to reach as high as possible, just barely reaching beyond this primal universe and touching the heavenly galaxies. This worshiper is no content with just raising their hands, they have to reach for the stars.

Who can be a top shelfer?
Not just anyone. You have to be pretty hard core. Ask yourself these questions: do you pray without ceasing?, do you fast once a week?, can you quote psalm 23? Do you wear a purity ring? If you answered yes to these three, you could be a top shelf worshiper.

Pros:

• You are definitely more awesome than the other worshipers.
• You might look taller, and chick like tall guys….its a fact.

Cons:

• You will block the view of the lyrics screen.
• You could end up with magic heaven dust on your hand or even gold dust from the glory clouds.

 

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4. Open the curtains

This is a new one that I’ve discovered. This style requires the worshiper to place their hands up in the air with palms facing out to the sides and the back of the hands facing each other.

Who can be a curtain opener?
Only those who are not currently suffering from carpel tunnel.

Pros:

• Builds the shoulder muscles.
• Effective if you ever get stuck in one of those beds with curtains on every side.

Cons:

• Some could mistake this as a call for a high-five.

 

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5. I found God

The I found God style involved the worshiper pointing a single finger on each hand towards the sky. This is a clear sign that YOU have not only found God but are determined to point it out to all others.

Who can be an I found God worshiper?
Just about anyone. If you have really bad nails you might want to think twice. Got really bad knuckles? Maybe you should consider being a curtain opener.

Pros:

• Everyone can see that you are a serious Christian.
• In case someone forgot where to find God, you got them covered.

Cons:

• If your short you run the risk of poking someone in the eye.

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Here are some more for your viewing pleasure.