Dating and Waiting

I was exploring some different topics on Pinterest when a recommended pin popped up with this text:

“Imagine a man so focused on God that the only reason he looked up to see you is because he heard God say, “That’s her.”

I liked the quote so much that I wrote it on some floral paper and stuck it in my journal.

I’m 34 years old, have an advanced degree, and a job I love. Would I like to get married? Of course! Having a loving and supportive husband would be an answer to thousands of prayers. I’ve talked to God about dating and married since I was 12. Those conversations have ranged from, ‘God, I’m waiting. Where is he?’ to ‘God, thank-you for the wisdom of your timing.’

I can very clearly see a major flaw in my thinking. I considered the man who met all the “requirements” on my “must have” list to be a kind of reward for good behavior. If I attended enough church services, our eyes would meet across the sanctuary during the Christmas candle-light service.  If I signed up for enough missions trips, I’d see him landing a plane in a remote jungle airstrip. If I do enough, if I sacrifice enough…  Imagine my disappointment when none of these things happened. And follow my flawed thinking to my flawed conclusion: God is withholding His blessings because I’m not “good enough.”

When I was a teen I read books like I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting.  I signed a pledge with True Love Waits when I was 14. Somewhere in the middle of those pages, youth group meetings, and rallies, the desire for the “perfect” Christian boyfriend/husband became my idol. I went to a Christian college where I met the “perfect” Christian boyfriend and that relationship went down in flames (along with my self-esteem). Since then I’ve casually dated, but nothing ever felt right.

I came across the page in my journal where I wrote out the quote. I thought about it for a while.

Then I wrote below:

Imagine being so focused on God that the only reason you look up to see him is because you heard God say, ‘That’s him!’

  • I don’t want to wait around passively for a Bible school graduate with a vision for church planting to walk into my Sunday school class with his name embossed on a 40 pound Bible. ‘That’s him!’
  • I don’t want my motivation for going on a medical mission trip to Guatemala to be, ‘Maybe I’ll meet him.’


  • I want to attend Sunday school because I am hungry for the Word and the fellowship of believers.
  • I want to go on missions trips because God called us to be His witnesses.
  • I want to read God’s Word and know it deep down in the depths of my soul.
  • I want to pay attention to the world around me so I can pray for those in need.

I want to be motivated because I love God. For me, for right now, that is more than enough. Thank-you, God, for Your grace and mercy!

If there’s a man who loves the Lord and is willing to serve along beside me, God will bring us together when the time is right.

Image via Pixabay

Comments, curses, and blessings welcome!

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