dress socks and shorts

An Ode To All Fathers: 5 Most Embarrassing Dad Traits

As we reflect on father’s coming up this Sunday, 17th; I thought it would be appropriate to list just exactly why father’s are so near a dear to our hearts.

1. No one can wear shorts with dress sock and loafers like Dads!

shorts loafers dress socksDear God Why?
Why not! After all he’s not past his prime, in fact, he defines the word prime! Think about this for a second. Think of every hipster trend that is in style right now…..yea, they are all styles that your dad was wearing to embarrass you years before hipsters knew how awesome mustaches and flannel were. Seriously, Google dress sock and shorts and you will see the error of your ways.

 

2. Bad Jokes

Carl MemeThis one is serious folks. My Father used to tell the worst jokes ever…in public….to strangers….repeatedly. I thought I was going to die.

Dear God Why?
This is why: as you age you two things happen, you stop telling fart and poop jokes and you stop remembering who you already told a joke too…or in my father’s case, you stop remembering anything at all. So without the use of childish jokes, do any funny ones still exist? I’m not sure I know a whole that are funny and not inappropriate.

3. Trying to be Cool Around Your Friends

GangstaDadThis one is near and dear to my heart. When I was about 15 and my dad was….I guess 170, he realized that my friends and I had nick names for each other, and they usually sounded pretty rad! So he thought it would be COOL to use a nick name for me….except he never told me and instead just started using it when ever my friends showed. Remember the old heart throb from the 90’s JTT? That is the nomenclature he was trying to super impose on me…except I was JL; NOT COOL.

Dear God Why?
If your dad really cares about you he is going to try not to act like a boob around your friends. The problem is…..he’s still a boob. You can’t really blame him, after all he fought in Korea, worked in a factory before unions made working illegal, and he had to take your crap for 10-20 years. What do you expect? Think you will be any different when you have kids? Think again.

4. Revealing Embarrassing Things about You or Your Childhood

awkward family photoMy Dad only did this by accident….your dad, possibly on purpose. If your dad thinks your naked baby pictures are cute, guess what, your boy friend or girl friend is going to see it eventually.

Dear God Why?
Simple; he changed your diaper for 2+ years and he actually remembers you when you were still cute and not a hormone driven monster. It is also a defense mechanism, to show your potential spouse how cute you were and possibly how cute your babies might be. Thus, getting you married and out of the house…..for good. Seriously, get out the basement.

5. Burping, farting, and smelling bad.

dad fartedEveryone has had a day when they forgot to shower, or ate too much of that cereal, Fiber Flakes (also known as really horrible tasting horse grain for humans), But dads take it to the next level. They don’t have a stinky day, the have a stinky life. And guess what, if you take him in public he is still going to stink.

Dear God Why?
Because he is too old to care anymore. This I admire the most about my father; the fact that he just didn’t care. As a teen, it was awful. As an adult, I envy his courage! Imagine the freedom of just passing gas in public and not even caring. Wearing pajamas or a bath robe half open when guests come over. It’s bliss. One day I pray I can be so blessed!

What are some of your favorites? Leave comments and let us know here at Dust Off The Bible :) Or you can vote on these….

 

Comments, curses, and blessings welcome!